Couple refuses to buy friend's parents' 1950s two-story property as they search for a “forever home”, he accuses them of ruining his parents' chance of selling: 'We’ve got our eyes set on new builds'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Nov 23, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Buying your first home with your hubby or wife is one of the biggest and most exciting milestones in any couple's life. It's the beginning of a new chapter. One that will hopefully last forever: filled with countless memories, first steps, and a whole lot of laughter! It's a huge decision that takes time to make, typically involving numerous showings, debates, and a long list of pros and cons. But when you finally unlock the door of your dream home, it will all feel worth it. Because you thought the phrase, 'When you know, you know' was referring to your forever partner, but now you finally understand that it was actually referring to your forever home…

This couple had their exact dream home in mind. A little, modern single-story new build. So when their friend suggested (well, actually it was more of a demand) that the couple purchase his parents' 1950s double-story house, they politely declined. Unnecessarily feeling the need to justify their 'no, thank you' to him. But he didn't take their refusal in the best way…accusing them of being the exact reason their innocent parents' home has been on the market for 90 days! But no one should make such a massive decision based on the satisfaction of their friends, because if they did, everyone's lives would look like a 1950s home: Strong on the outside, but crumbing from within! 

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  • Their ‘friend’ can make all the accusations he wants, but that's not going to change the couple's minds. It's truly sweet that he cares so deeply for his elderly parents. truly. But a good friend would take their declination with pride and ask them to grab a coffee moments later. But it seems like the only coffee-related matter in this friendship is his bitterness. 

  • Senior couple standing in front of their home
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for not wanting to buy a friend’s parents’ home?

    Me and my spouse are in our early 30s and currently house-hunting new builds. A friend (Nat) heard about this and messaged us saying it's perfect that we're in the market because their parents are moving to their homeland and are looking for buyers.
    via coffee_loves
  • I politely declined and said we've got our eyes set on new builds. Nat, then, got defensive, stated that his parents' 2-story home is beautiful and continued to list all the pros individually.
    via coffee_loves
  • All of which are true. I responded and said (1) we want to be the first home owners, (2) we only want to remodel/make changes once (in our late 50s, right before retirement age), (3) we specifically wanted a single story home because this will be a forever home and don't want stairs in our old age, (4) new builds we're looking at and his parents' house are the same price (though their home is WAY bigger) - and that's without updating this and that to make their home our home, (5) the home was bu
    via coffee_loves
  • But Nat focused on that last line (questionable) and is now calling us AHs and people like us are the reason why his parents' house has been in the market for more than 90 days "but new builds are being reserved and purchased left and right." I don't think we're the AHs but another friend said "he does have a point." This friend doesn't necessarily think we're AHs but telling us "he has a point" started to make me question our intentions.
    via coffee_loves
  • Are we the AHs?
    via coffee_loves
  • Two men talking over coffee
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • OkOffice3806 If their house isn't selling, they are asking too much $. They need to reset their expectations and stop taking their frustrations with their own bad decisions on you.
    via OkOffice3806
  • tandem4one NTA. But this is the perfect example of why you shouldn't give people a long explanation- rather than seeing your reasons and agreeing with you, it gives them more things to potentially latch on to and argue with you about. Just say No. or No, but I'm sure their home will make some family very happy. Rinse, repeat, engage no further.
    via tandem4one
  • bepdhc NTA. Your friend is an idiot. The reason their home is on the market for over 90 days is that it is overpriced. Why spend for a 75 year old home when you can get a new build for the same price? If they lower their asking price, they will sell their home.
    via bepdhc
  • rosebudny Putting the fact that I think most new builds are garbage and I'd take an older home any day of the week aside... you do not owe Nat an explanation. Stop giving him reasons/excuses as to why you do not want to buy his parents' home. "Your parents' house is not what we are looking for." End of story. If he keeps pestering you, block him. NTA.
    via rosebudny
  • Suburban double-story home
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • BruceDubya NTA obviously. Why would you make the biggest purchase of your life based on a friend's convenience rather than your preference? I'd just ignore/cut them out unless they're particularly close to you.
    via BruceDubya
  • MidwestMaplebirdy NTA, but I would really rethink wanting to go with a new build. Everyone I know who has purchased a new build has had to do MAJOR renovations within a year of living in them. I'm talking down to the studs renovation because they were so shoddily built. The truth of the matter is that a lot of new builds are not built as well as older homes. So, just be aware of that possibility.
    via MidwestMaplebirdy
  • Discount_Mithral NTA. Nat is also not your friend if they are resorting to calling you AHs for not wanting to buy their parent's house. What spoiled behavior.
    via Discount_Mithral
  • 18-SpicyNuggies As someone who works in property - I will never understand anyone buying new builds. HOWEVER, that's my opinion, it's not my money, not my life. Your friend is being an AH. They need to drop it. If their parents house is THAT great someone else would have snapped it up.
    via 18-SpicyNuggies
  • mama_d63 Seriously, you have repeatedly told Nat that you are looking for certain criteria. New build. Single story. First owners. He's not listening. Your misgivings about his parents' home are completely valid. Is he going to get a commission on the sale? Otherwise, why is he so fixated on YOU buying their house? You are NTA, but Nat is turning into a huge one.
    via mama_d63
  • Just Looking135 You responded and gave him reasons to argue with. You don't have to justify yourself. A polite "thanks for bringing it to my attention but not what we're looking for” is all you need to say, followed by "no" if he persists. NTA.
    via Just_Looking135
  • Fresh_Process6822 NTA. And you don't need to go into so much detail. Simply saying "no thank you; we are planning to buy a new build," or even "no thank you; we are exploring other options" and holding that line is sufficient. At that point, if he kept going or pressing for details, it's easy to say, "Nat, we've already declined. Please respect our right to make our own home purchase choice." Good luck on finding your home!
    via Fresh_Process6822
  • Excited couple holding the keys to their new home
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Necessary-Rhubarb257 Of course you're NTA. Everybody can buy a house they like - and you may pay more because you're looking for something popular, just as Nat's parents may sell for less because it is less popular. Doesn't make you an asshole, only a consumer. What does he expect you to do? Buy his parents' house and be miserable? Pf.
    via Necessary-Rhubarb257
  • Mobile_Cranberry_575 NAH. Depending on build quality the 1950s home might have a much longer life span than many of today's new builds. That said your money, your house you should buy what you like.
    via Mobile_Cranberry_575
  • SubwayNut-89 NTA - buying a home is a big deal your friend is being completley unreasonable.
    via SubwayNut-89
  • Right Hunter6636 NTA - You know what you want, and their home doesn't fit your criteria. That's not an insult to their home. People need different things, and theirs just isn't right for you.
    via Right_Hunter6636
  • Own Conversation3511 When I was house hunting, I was looking for a single-family, 2 bedroom fixer-upper, with a large fully fenced yard (for my dog), in an unincorporated village. Since I worked in a salon, I put the word out (found my inspector and agent that way)
    via Own_Conversation3511
  • One of my regular clients insisted I buy her "house". A 3 bedroom townhouse, 50% over my budget, in an HOA. She insisted it was exactly what I was looking for. She spent an hour arguing about what a great buy this was. She stopped seeing me after this because I refused to buy her house. Found out later she was upside-down on the mortgage. NTA
    via Own_Conversation3511

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friendship 90-days market modern living drama renovations 1950s house hunting friends wife real estate preferences friendship-drama entitled on-the-market parents entitled people
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